businesspeople

Over the past several months, the rights and acceptance of transgender and gender-nonconforming people have increasingly been the subject of both legal challenges and heated public debate. The Onion sifts through the many essays published…

Twitter owner Elon Musk announced that certain words used to identify non-transgender people, like “cis” and “cisgender,” are now “considered slurs.” What do you think?“I shudder to think anybody would ever use a slur on Twitter.”Jenna…

MAR-A-LAGO, FL—Still reeling from the recently unsealed federal indictment that included over 37 felony counts against him, 45th president of the United States Donald Trump spent a contemplative morning in his office Thursday tapping golf…

VICTORIA, SEYCHELLES—Insisting that their unimaginable wealth isolated them from the hard day-to-day work of blood harvesting, the world’s billionaires released a collective statement Thursday knocking out-of-touch centibillionaires for not…

WASHINGTON—Eyes welling up with tears as their time together came to an end, federal agents reportedly gazed at a photo of Hunter Biden’s penis one last time Tuesday before officially closing the pertinent investigation. “I suppose that’s…

It’s the same name as a car! That’s kind of interesting, right? It might be fun to have a car middle name. What if your middle name was Hyundai? Then everyone would be all, “Whoa, that’s like that car, what a weird middle name!” And you’d…

Billionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg competed in his first local jiu-jitsu tournament, announcing on Instagram that he won gold and silver medals. What do you think?“I remain convinced I could hold his face in a toilet as long as I…

“I hate the way you talk to me, And the way you cut your hair. / I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. / I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. / I hate you so much it makes me sick, It even…

Start SlideshowSpaceX applicants undergo a rigorous screening process to ensure they live up to the spacecraft manufacturer’s standards. Do you have what it takes to pass the company’s aptitude test and land the job?AdvertisementPrevious…

CULVER CITY, CA—Interrupting the entrepreneur just as he started to outline his concept, Shark Tank judge Mark Cuban rejected a pitch Friday to make the Dallas Mavericks good. “I just don’t see it,” said the billionaire sports owner,…