Canada

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced he will step down from the Liberal Party leadership – as soon as a newer, worthier Trudeau comes forward to take his place. Trudeau, who has held the party leadership since 2013, made the…

ANN ARBOR, MI ― Kitchener native Tobias Sanders took a solid five seconds today to work out the meaning of his American friend Cory Easton’s invitation to “grab some doughnut holes” at a local shop while visiting him in Michigan. The…

OTTAWA – The Trudeau Liberals have announced relaxing of several mortgage rules, all with the intent of allowing more Canadians to barely afford the crappiest, tiniest investment condos that have ever existed. “We are pleased to allow young…

OTTAWA – It was with a mix of embarrassment and concern that economists announced yesterday that almost the entire North American GDP, long thought to be a mature economy, is actually just 26,000 Slack messages in a trench coat. “Upon…

PARIS – Following the decision by FIFA judges to punish the Canadian women’s soccer organization for illegally surveilling their opponents’ practice, the International Olympic Committee has also awarded the two coaches gold medals in the…

CAPE BRETON REGIONAL MUNICIPALITY – In a surprise move, the residents of Cape Breton island in Nova Scotia have announced that as early as next year, Cape Breton will have its own small and incredibly annoying time zone right between the…

OTTAWA – Aides to Prime Minister Trudeau have reportedly spent several hours attempting to explain how Joe Biden, a similarly left-leaning incumbent with low polling numbers, actually willingly chose to end his re-election campaign. “So…

OTTAWA – The federal government has announced that, beginning on January 1, 2025, all renditions of O Canada played anywhere in the country will be required to start with 15 seconds of unskippable advertisements. “Honestly, it’s not…

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. – The Canadian men’s national soccer team plays Argentina in the Copa America semi-final tonight, as Canada looks to end its pathetic century-long title drought in South America’s soccer championship. While…

It’s the biggest men’s soccer match in Canadian history tonight, as Canada takes on World Champions Argentina in the semi-finals of the Copa America. And that means thousands, possibly millions, of Canadians who know nothing about our team,…