caucusesoftheunitedstatescongress

“I don’t understand why we’re having to convince people to get a job. It’s awesome! Jobs give you a minimum $174,000 salary, housing, health insurance, life insurance, annual allowances, a pension, a family death gratuity, free parking,…

Start SlideshowWith the fentanyl crisis continuing to spiral out of control in the United States, The Onion asked prominent Republicans and business leaders how they would get the deadly drug off the street, and this is what they…

“It’ll be fine. Of course it’ll be fine. Why wouldn’t it be fine? I would let you hold me right now to make me feel safe. I don’t need you to hold me, but you could if you really wanted to. Maybe run your fingers through my hair like mommy…

In a 213-208 vote, House Republicans passed a bill that would allow parents more control over the way issues like race, sexuality, and gender are handled in their children’s schools. The Onion asked Republicans why they support the Parents…

Start SlideshowDespite the popularity of universal free school lunch amongst Americans, many members of Congress are against the initiative. The Onion asked politicians to explain why they oppose free school lunch, and this is what they…