Celebs

LONDON, ENGLAND—Harrison Ford has reportedly retained a stuntman to perform dangerous stunts on the set of Indiana Jones 5, such as walking up some stairs or picking things up. "It's very normal to have a stuntman perform this kind of…

Britney Spears Considers Presidential Run As Only Person The Left And Right Both Agree With LOS ANGELES, CA—After achieving bipartisan support for her cause among both the Left and the Right, Britney Spears has announced that if she…

UNDERGROUND LAIR, AZ—Somewhere in the foothills of Arizona, Mike Lindell has been hard at work developing the most comfortable, soothing straitjacket on earth, guaranteed to help his followers feel safe and warm as security guards blast…

Tom Cruise Makes Desperate Plea To Get People Back To Theaters: 'I'm Down To My Last $100 Million' HOLLYWOOD, CA—Tom Cruise made a desperate plea to get fans back into movie theaters and end the Hollywood slowdown, telling fans he’s “almost…

REDMOND, WA—Microsoft has launched an investigation into its own founder, Bill Gates, following reports of an affair with his virtual assistant, Cortana. “It started like any other relationship.” Bill Gates confessed. “Cortana began as an…

Joel Osteen Unveils New Ultra-Thin Yacht That Can Fit Through The Eye Of A Needle HOUSTON, TX—Multimillionaire prosperity gospel preacher Joel Osteen has come under fire, as some are suggesting he may actually be a grifter who lives in…

FRANKLIN, TN—Dave Ramsey is facing a massive scandal after his wife Sharon reported catching the “Total Money Makeover” author and debt-free living advocate looking at illicit images of credit card applications online.…

SAN ANTONIO, TX—The wax figure of the 45th president of the United States was removed from display at Louis Tussaud's Waxworks as a result of loyal supporters praying in humble supplication at its feet. “Our museum is just not set up for…

Meghan And Harry Request That Everyone Please Respect Their Privacy And Also Make Sure To Tune In To 'Keeping Up With The Markles' MONTECITO, CA—In a recent interview, Megan Markle and Prince Harry sat down with Oprah Winfrey to discuss…

HOUSTON, TX—Dozens of Bible verses have come forward over the past several weeks to accuse Joel Osteen of abuse. Verses from books ranging from Genesis and Exodus all the way to Jude and Revelation have spoken out, saying that Osteen abused…