Celebs

MALIBU, CA — Hunter Biden looked visibly troubled this week as sales for his paintings plummeted by approximately 100%."You said these were masterpieces!" cried a forlorn Hunter Biden to his handler. "How come all of a sudden no one wants…

HOLLYWOOD, CA — As crews continued to sift through the rubble of fire-ravaged neighborhoods in the Los Angeles area, one salvage worker made a startling discovery of old photographs that appeared to show Pete Davidson dating Marilyn Monroe…

MARTHA'S VINEYARD — According to sources, Barack Obama has filed for divorce from his wife Michelle after discovering she is actually a woman."I've been wrong...so wrong," the former president confessed to a few close friends soon after his…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre will be exiting politics for good at the end of Biden's presidential term, instead returning to her former job as a salesman at Men's Wearhouse."It has been an honor to lie to you…

LOS ANGELES, CA — In what many are already calling a modern-day miracle, the city of Los Angeles was saved after Meghan Markle arrived in the city and began standing around wearing a cap.Residents breathed a sigh of relief as soon as they…

AUSTIN, TX — Bringing a critically acclaimed career to a close, movie star Dennis Quaid announced his retirement from acting to start appearing in Christian films.The fan-favorite actor, who starred in such popular films as The Right Stuff,…

BOCA CHICA, TX — Friends called police and requested to have officers conduct a wellness check on Elon Musk today after the billionaire failed to post on X for over 17 minutes.Officers reportedly knocked on the door of Musk's home after he…

CANADA — The celebrities who fled the U.S. in horror following Trump's presidential victory are finding themselves right back where they started: under the tyrannical iron fist of Trump's authoritarian will. Trump's surprise announcement to…

It's the fourth week of November, which means it's time for us all to do a little introspection and consider what we are thankful for. The Babylon Bee made full use of its vast political and entertainment connections to ask a dozen…

With Hollywood mainstays like Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi escaping the hostility of the United States, how can America possibly hope to maintain its cultural impact? It may be time to admit that the American dream is now dead and…