Celebs

LOS ANGELES, CA — Rock icon Ozzy Osbourne officially endorsed a presidential candidate Friday, but no one was able to determine who it was."Iliketheonewithmembabemfemab," said the prince of darkness. "That's why sfkfmfmafdsafmbbmbb with the…

U.S. — A breaking report from bookseller Barnes & Noble suggests that a former European supermodel who married a billionaire reality TV star might not be as conservative as previously thought."She's married to Trump, though!" said Alan…

NEW YORK, NY — All charges of sex trafficking and racketeering against rapper and business mogul Sean "P. Diddy" Combs were formally dropped Thursday after he admitted he was just a knucklehead."Look, I can be a bit of a knucklehead at…

U.S. — A letter allegedly written by failed Trump assassin Ryan Routh has reportedly promised $150,000 to anyone who would successfully finish what he started. But Routh's hopes of instigating more attempts on the former president's life…

DETROIT, MI — Famed talk show host and meme subject Oprah Winfrey was showered with accolades today after last night's release of a moving 1-hour special on the dangers of alcohol abuse.According to viewers, Winfrey sat down with one of…

U.S. — A source close to former presidential candidate and current Trump supporter Robert F. Kenney Jr. says he is "really really" hoping no one asks him point-blank if he's ever eaten a cat.The recent viral reports about Haitian migrants…

U.S. — A Sikorsky UH-60 Black Hawk helicopter touched down just outside the residence of Bill and Hillary Clinton on Wednesday, carrying the first lady's former CIA handler. According to an anonymous source, he approached Hillary to recruit…

ST. PAUL, MN — In a stunning development today, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz's dog "Scout" has officially endorsed Donald J. Trump for president in 2024."Bark!" said Scout in a statement.The dog, reportedly one of Tim Walz's closest friends in…

U.S. — During what was supposed to be a friendly board game night, Candace Owens was eliminated from Clue after formally accusing "The Jews" during the first round of play."IT WAS THE JEWS!" Owens cried. "The Jews, in the Conservatory, with…

FRANKLIN, TN — In a bold defense of orthodox Christianity, New York Times columnist David French has come forward to announce that he will be transitioning to female in order to save traditional masculinity from itself.French courageously…