Celebs

OXFORD — Setting an inspiring example for all people saddled by their parents with unwieldy names, a British gentleman born in 1898 seems to have managed to become a popular, successful writer despite having been named "Clive Staples" by…

U.S. — Donald Trump is being praised for his speech at the close of the Republican National Convention Thursday, but not for the reason you might think. The former president is being heralded as a hero for talking long enough for Matt…

LOS ANGELES, CA — In an act of rebellion against the men who have repeatedly kept her down throughout her life, singer Taylor Swift spelled out "F--- The Patriarchy" in contrails with her $10 million private jet."Yeah! That'll show ‘em!"…

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Despite lingering legal issues stemming from the accidental shooting death on the set of one of his films, TLC announced that actor Alec Baldwin would be hosting an exciting new game show called Is It Loaded?The new show,…

LAS VEGAS, NV — As he continued to train intensely for his upcoming bout with the YouTuber, boxing legend Mike Tyson was upset to discover his contract to fight Jake Paul includes a "No Punching Jake Paul" clause.The former heavyweight…

LOS ANGELES, CA — Abject failure John Daniels has not played Spider-Man in a single Hollywood film, confirming the absolute embarrassment that is his acting career.In a town where donning the iconic spandex is practically a part of puberty,…

NEW YORK — Donald Trump was held in contempt of court Monday during his hush money trial for a record tenth time, compelling the judge to force the defendant to wear a restraining mask made popular by Dr. Hannibal Lecter."Try violating this…

MANHATTAN, NY — After coming up with a devastating burn about the prosecutor's mom, former President Trump sat with his hand hovering over the "send" button as he weighed whether it was a good enough burn to be worth another ten-thousand…

DEATH STAR — Viewers of the Imperial News Network were stunned today, as Mark Hamill joined a Death Star press conference to say what a good job he thinks the Emperor is doing.The surprise appearance, reportedly put together in an effort to…

NEW YORK — According to sources, noted guerrilla journalist and founder of Project Veritas, James O'Keefe, successfully infiltrated the protest encampment at Columbia University while disguised as the late Karl Marx."Social progress can be…