Celebs

MALIBU, CA — Wayne Brady, the beloved comedian who performed on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, hosted Let's Make A Deal, and voiced Noah's son in the direct-to-video film Veggie Tales: Noah's Ark, has come out to friends and family as needing…

UNITED STATES — A celebrity was recently praised by conservatives for a handful of seconds for bravely criticizing woke idealogues just moments before groveling in apologetic humility at their feet.During a podcast interview, the celebrity…

U.S. — After years of being totally obscured by Lizzo's shadow, her backup dancers have finally had enough."I'm out there dancing and it's literally pitch black," said dancer Mariah Minor. "It's like a total solar eclipse back there."The…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As news reports regarding plus-sized rapper/actress/flutist Lizzo's alleged outrageous acts that resulted in her being sued by former backup dancers, the Library of Congress discretely made the decision to thoroughly…

U.S. — A lawsuit brought by former members of Lizzo's backup dance team is alleging the corpulent singer terrorized them by eating them and their entire families. "I showed up to work late one day, and Lizzo unhinged her jaw and swallowed…

LOS ANGELES, CA — In an attempt to increase his credibility on the street, rapper-actor Ice Cube booked an appearance on conservative media pundit Tucker Carlson's show on Twitter (AKA "X"), thinking anyone seeing him hanging around Carlson…

TORONTO — With other ideas having failed, the family of Professor-Author-Philosopher Dr. Jordan B. Peterson made one final, desperate attempt to distract him with several cats in order to confiscate his phone."Oooh, Dad, look at this fluffy…

STAMFORD, VT — Actor Ezra Miller has been traveling house to house threatening families to see The Flash, witnesses claim. Authorities are advising residents of Bennington County to lock their doors and, if approached, to contact police…

RIVENDELL — Gandalf the White has arrived with haste at the house of Elrond, suddenly referring to himself as Gandalf the Black. According to the iced-out wizard now wearing a black robe, word on the street is that the Elves are paying out…

AUSTIN, TX — After controversial comments that spooked investors in Tesla and Twitter, Elon Musk has finally come forward to apologize to Magneto for comparing him to the dastardly villain Goerge Soros. "I would like to say I'm sorry to Max…