Celebs

MAR-A-LAGO, FL — After a judge ruled Trump liable in the sexual abuse and defamation case brought by E. Jean Carroll, the former President responded by announcing he would pay the $5 million judgment using his collectible NFT trading…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, the extremely beautiful and perfect Congresswoman AOC has still failed to notice a group of handsome and talented satire writers, even though they are really funny and have written dozens of…

NEW YORK, NY — Former CNN host Don Lemon has quickly landed on his feet after his sudden firing yesterday, as he will now have the opportunity to continue lecturing the American public from his new position as a barista at his local…

MANHATTAN, NY — With The Super Mario Bros. Movie making over $377 million globally in its first weekend alone and a projected strong second weekend from positive word-of-mouth, the franchise kickoff is already shaping up into a juggernaut.…

ST LOUIS, MO — Finding themselves in hot water with Christians and conservatives this week, Anheuser-Busch has extended an olive branch to the Christian community with its new John MacArthur edition of Bud Light.The commemorative aluminum…

NEW YORK, NY — Beloved Football superstar Colin Kaepernick has announced he will be suing his white parents for the cruel act of adopting him into a white family without his consent. Kaepernick's legal team announced he is seeking $21…

LOS ANGELES, CA — The Academy Awards has continued efforts to address its history of white overrepresentation, tabbing black comedian Jimmy Kimmel to host the 95th edition of the Oscars."We are proud for the Academy to once again feature…

U.S. — Ratings for the 95th Academy Awards skyrocketed this year, as millions tuned in hoping to see Jimmy Kimmel get slapped on live television."We have never seen such a tremendous spike in ratings," said ABC producer Lena Wright. "Jimmy…

CRESTLINE, CA — In his ongoing series of investigations into any reports of white powder, Hunter Biden has traveled to the San Bernardino Mountains of California after hearing several feet of such powder had been seen covering the…

LOS ANGELES, CA — According to inside sources, comedian Jimmy Kimmel is currently running tonight's Jimmy Kimmel Live! jokes by CCP President Xi for approval, as is his daily custom. "We have a tremendous round of hilarious jokes for you, O…