Christian Living

Man Excitedly Starts His ‘Read Half Way Through Genesis Before Quitting’ Bible In A Year Plan AUSTIN, TX—Sources have confirmed that Grant Morris has once again kicked off the new year with ambitions to read the entire Bible in a year. He…

Father Buys 800 AA Batteries So He'll Never Have To Buy More For A Long --- UPDATE: They're All Gone BRANSON, MO—According to sources, local Dad Fred Martin wisely prepared for Christmas by buying 800 AA batteries and 2,742 AAA…

With Supply Chain Issues, Families Forced To Settle For Being Thankful That God Came To Earth To Save Us SAVANNAH, GA—After exhausting all options to fulfill their children’s Christmas wish lists and coming up short, Leonard and Mildred…

Reminder for all the husbands out there: it might be time to start thinking about maybe Christmas shopping, perhaps sometime soon. We don't want to put too much pressure on you, so take it easy. We're not saying, like, for…

NASHVILLE, TN—Sources close to local Christian band Apostle 242 confirmed Thursday that the band hasn't even replaced the "T" in their name with a cross yet, despite being around since 1997. "These guys can't truly be Christians," said one…

LOS ANGELES, CA—Local man Mick Paulson was immediately canonized as a Christian saint after he returned his shopping cart to the corral following a grocery shopping trip Friday afternoon. After the man walked the extra 17 steps to the…

Theologians Confirm: Amount Of Treasure Stored Up In Heaven Directly Proportional To Your Bible App Daily Streak WORLD—Top theologians have confirmed that the amount of treasure you have stored up in heaven will now be directly related to…

NORTH ADAMS, MA—Local dad Jimmy O’Keaveney is giving praise to God for a speedy recovery from a mystery illness that kept him from attending church on Sunday. O’Keaveney says he was miraculously healed just in time to make it to the…

Babylon Mom: It's Important To Spend A Lot Of Time Doing Self-Care And Also Has Anyone Seen Aiden? Hey everyone, sorry it’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. It’s just been crazy around here! Mommas, here's a hard truth: if you…

LOS ANGELES, CA—Get a load of this idiot! Rookie Christian James Hamperton made the classic mistake of praying God would teach him patience while attending church this Sunday, and now his week is filled with the most irritating little…