Christian Living

TRENTON, NJ—In a landmark ruling handed down in a lower-level family court Monday, Judge Marcus Parsons ruled that a husband can in fact be held responsible for actions taken completely in his wife's fevered imagination during her dreams.…

NEW JERUSALEM—According to the Apostle John, the hotly anticipated wedding feast of the Lamb will be catered by the popular restaurant Chick-fil-A. Guests are instructed to be prompt and dressed for the occasion. Late guests, or…

Man Excitedly Starts His ‘Read Half Way Through Genesis Before Quitting’ Bible In A Year Plan AUSTIN, TX—Sources have confirmed that Grant Morris has once again kicked off the new year with ambitions to read the entire Bible in a year. He…

Father Buys 800 AA Batteries So He'll Never Have To Buy More For A Long --- UPDATE: They're All Gone BRANSON, MO—According to sources, local Dad Fred Martin wisely prepared for Christmas by buying 800 AA batteries and 2,742 AAA…

With Supply Chain Issues, Families Forced To Settle For Being Thankful That God Came To Earth To Save Us SAVANNAH, GA—After exhausting all options to fulfill their children’s Christmas wish lists and coming up short, Leonard and Mildred…

Reminder for all the husbands out there: it might be time to start thinking about maybe Christmas shopping, perhaps sometime soon. We don't want to put too much pressure on you, so take it easy. We're not saying, like, for…

NASHVILLE, TN—Sources close to local Christian band Apostle 242 confirmed Thursday that the band hasn't even replaced the "T" in their name with a cross yet, despite being around since 1997. "These guys can't truly be Christians," said one…

LOS ANGELES, CA—Local man Mick Paulson was immediately canonized as a Christian saint after he returned his shopping cart to the corral following a grocery shopping trip Friday afternoon. After the man walked the extra 17 steps to the…

Theologians Confirm: Amount Of Treasure Stored Up In Heaven Directly Proportional To Your Bible App Daily Streak WORLD—Top theologians have confirmed that the amount of treasure you have stored up in heaven will now be directly related to…

NORTH ADAMS, MA—Local dad Jimmy O’Keaveney is giving praise to God for a speedy recovery from a mystery illness that kept him from attending church on Sunday. O’Keaveney says he was miraculously healed just in time to make it to the…