Christian Living

WACO, TX—The Jacobs family has decided that they no longer need that old, distressed wooden sign taking up space in the kitchen that says ‘GATHER’. The only problem is that the Jacobs family has now gone weeks without gathering together to…

KABUL—After the government spectacularly botched the evacuation of Afghanistan, Chick-fil-A scrambled to the rescue and was quickly put in charge of the operation. Within a few hours, every single American at the Kabul airport was…

Persecution Report: This Woman’s Facebook Post About Being A Christian Just Got A ‘Laughing’ Emoji SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Sources in the far-off pagan country of Arizona are bringing back reports of intense persecution experienced by Karla Medders,…

Evangelism Report: Despite Susan Saying 'God Bless You' Every Time Someone Sneezes, Coworkers Still Haven't Asked About Her Faith The Babylon Bee's new Evangelism Report column is a series where we will be profiling heroes of the faith,…

Church Introduces New Chainsaw Diesel Gunpowder Fire Tornado Double Stuffed Testosterone Mountain Dew Fuel Themed Men’s Bible Study For Men HUNTINGTON, WV—Sign-ups have begun for what is being called the most epic, hardcore, ultra-masculine…

CENTERVILLE, OH—According to sources, local Conservative Trump supporter Dale Bugger can't wait to die and go to Heaven, as he is really looking forward to asking God who truly won the 2020 election. "Yup! That's the first thing I'll ask…

HELL—Seeking to add a little comfort to the eternal suffering and torment that one endures in Hell, Satan has just confirmed that they will begin offering Pepsi products to help quench the never-ending thirst of…

McDonald's Employee Who Said 'My Pleasure' Under Fire For Appropriating Chick-Fil-A Culture FRANKLIN, TN—"OK, that'll be two Big Mac meals supersized with sweet teas? No problem, that'll be $22.37 at the first window," said McDonald's…

ELY, NV—After enjoying a generic chicken sandwich with waffle fries and a coke, professional parrot-sitter Antoine Herpsberger sat down to watch TV. Surfing channels, Herpsberger paused for a brief moment to watch a chef pour a delicate…

God has to listen to a ton of prayers. With all those prayers going up around the world all the time, he is forced to field some pretty dumb ones. Lucky for us, the archangel Gabriel gave the Babylon Bee a special look into the worst…