Christian Living

'Christian Movies Are Way Too Preachy!' Says Man Who Clearly Hasn't Watched A Netflix Show Recently SHREVEPORT, LA—According to sources, local TV-watcher Aaron Cramblestein recently denounced Christian movies as the most "preachy" and…

American Christian Bummed That Following Christ May Soon Actually Cost Him Something SIMI VALLEY, CA—After years of following Jesus with virtually nothing to lose and no societal pressure pushing against him, local American Christian man…

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Tim Tebow has announced that he is retiring from professional baseball to pursue other, higher interests. Now he hopes to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a Chick-fil-A employee. “While I enjoyed playing in the…

JUNIPER HILLS, CA—Trinity Hills Baptist Church erupted into total chaos after Pastor Greg abruptly jettisoned thirty years of tradition, adding an unheard-of fourth point onto Sunday’s sermon.“I just never thought this kind of heresy would…

Jim Bob Duggar To Become Richest Man Alive Following Biden’s $3000 Per Child Stimulus SPRINGDALE, AR—Democrats have proposed a new Covid relief stimulus for families of up to $3000 per child. Should this legislation pass, it would instantly…

ATLANTA, GA—Chick-fil-A is expanding its drive-thrus across the country, moving from just one or two lanes to a full eight-lane, high-speed expressway. The newly expanded drive-thrus can handle up to 1,200 cars at once, with each vehicle…

Going to church for the first time can be intimidating. It's like meeting a bunch of weirdos who have their own secret code. Well, it's not like that. It's exactly that. Luckily, your friends at The Babylon Bee sent…

MEMPHIS, TN—According to sources, local dad Michael Stoutt is training up his son in the way he should go and teaching him how to be a man. Just as his father before him taught him the ways of chair-stacking at church, Michael is teaching…

Never-Trump Christians Proud To Have Helped America Return To An Era Of Godly Leadership ANN ARBOR, MI—Local Biden-supporting Christian couple Matt and Shasta Chambers are finally breathing a sigh of relief after a long year of…

Man Desperately Searches Bible For That Verse Where Jesus Commands Christians To Be On The Right Side Of History CHICAGO, IL—Local churchgoer Casey Martino is frantically thumbing through his Bible, desperately looking for that one verse…