Christian Living

WINTER LAKE, MN—Local man Curtis Bivens, who has not opened the Bible a single time in his life and doesn't believe a word it says is here to tell you that everything you believe about the Bible is all wrong. “Jesus would never…

CINCINNATI, OH—While reading his Bible recently, Mark Thompson came to the startling realization that his secret love of the TV show Friends would one day come to light and be revealed to all. According to Revelation 20, everyone will be…

Man Pretends To Understand G.K. Chesterton Book ONTARIO, CA—Local man Kyle Nicolay settled in with a men's group to read some G.K. Chesterton this week. Though he did not understand a word of the chapter, Nicolay pretended he had…

Nation That Hasn't Been To Church In Eight Months Not Sure Why Everybody's So Anxious And Worried U.S.—According to sociologists, Americans are experiencing unprecedented levels of worry, anxiousness, and depression. Americans also haven't…

New Dave Ramsey 'Inspiration Cube' Insults You When You Try To Buy Something On A Credit Card U.S.—You may have seen Joel Osteen's Inspiration Cube that plays a series of soothing messages. Well, not to be outdone, Dave Ramsey has released…

WORLD—The entire planet has reportedly given their lives to Christ immediately upon hearing that there will be no politics whatsoever in Heaven. “You mean no political parties, no propaganda, and no elections in Heaven?!” said local…

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Just days after being outed as a possible Christian, Chris Pratt signed on for hundreds of cheesy Christian movies, including God's Not Dead 4: Revenge of the Atheists. The movie is a direct sequel to the other three. This…

U.S.—A newly formed Christian political group is promising to fight back against Donald Trump in the upcoming November election. Known as Pro-Life Evangelicals for Moloch, the new group promises to return American Evangelicalism…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amy Coney Barrett has eloquently defended herself through the Senate confirmation hearings this morning. But as Dems grew increasingly vicious, she was forced to turn to desperate measures. After several hours of hearings,…

Nero Surprised To Learn That All He Had To Do To Stop Christians From Gathering Was Declare A Pandemic HELL—Emperor Nero was surprised and a little angered to learn that all he had to do to stop Christians from gathering was to declare a…