Christian Living

U.S.—A coalition of Baptist believers has addressed a pressing issue for the modern believer: immodest tree skirts, which barely cover anything and leave little to the imagination. The less revealing, floor-length denim tree skirts are…

In Order To Appeal To Suburban Christian Women, Vaccine To Be Distributed Through A Pyramid Scheme U.S.—Many people are skeptical of the coming vaccine, some due to political reasons, and others due to religious reasons or the fact…

DALLAS, TX—Pastor Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas announced on Sunday that their visitor gift bags have undergone a massive overhaul. Before dismissing the congregation he asked all guests to reach under their seats to receive their…

WINTER LAKE, MN—Local man Curtis Bivens, who has not opened the Bible a single time in his life and doesn't believe a word it says is here to tell you that everything you believe about the Bible is all wrong. “Jesus would never…

CINCINNATI, OH—While reading his Bible recently, Mark Thompson came to the startling realization that his secret love of the TV show Friends would one day come to light and be revealed to all. According to Revelation 20, everyone will be…

Man Pretends To Understand G.K. Chesterton Book ONTARIO, CA—Local man Kyle Nicolay settled in with a men's group to read some G.K. Chesterton this week. Though he did not understand a word of the chapter, Nicolay pretended he had…

Nation That Hasn't Been To Church In Eight Months Not Sure Why Everybody's So Anxious And Worried U.S.—According to sociologists, Americans are experiencing unprecedented levels of worry, anxiousness, and depression. Americans also haven't…

New Dave Ramsey 'Inspiration Cube' Insults You When You Try To Buy Something On A Credit Card U.S.—You may have seen Joel Osteen's Inspiration Cube that plays a series of soothing messages. Well, not to be outdone, Dave Ramsey has released…

WORLD—The entire planet has reportedly given their lives to Christ immediately upon hearing that there will be no politics whatsoever in Heaven. “You mean no political parties, no propaganda, and no elections in Heaven?!” said local…

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Just days after being outed as a possible Christian, Chris Pratt signed on for hundreds of cheesy Christian movies, including God's Not Dead 4: Revenge of the Atheists. The movie is a direct sequel to the other three. This…