Christian Living

NASHVILLE, TN—Leaders from the United Methodist Church have announced a tentative plan to split the church over differences on whether or not Methodists should be Christian or some sort of social group with a vague deist motif that makes up…

Nation's Christians Wish God Had Given Them Some Kind Of Unimpeachable, Incorruptible Leader To Follow U.S.—The nation's Christians are lamenting the fact that God never gave them a leader they could follow who was unimpeachable,…

BARTLETT, IL—With Christmas behind them and winter break still going, kids and parents around the country are going a little stir crazy. So when the Dahlen children in suburban Chicago saw a few inches of morning snow on the ground, they…

Baptists Prepare To Celebrate New Year With Finest Bottle Of Sparkling Apple Cider U.S.—Baptists across the nation excitedly prepared to ring in the new year with their finest bottles of apple cider. "This is a 2019 vintage -- very good…

Merry Christmas, everyone. Gather the kids by the fire and play this original poem so they can remember the true reason for the season: winning the culture war. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZEejflUZcs] 'Twas The War On…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In response to the Christianity Today editorial calling for his removal, Trump called the magazine a “left-wing rag” and said, “I have done more for Christianity than Jesus.” “I mean, the name of the magazine is…

For the second year in a row, The Babylon Bee is proud to present our coveted Christian of the Year award to Donald J. Trump. Each year since this award was conceived, which was last year, we recognize one Christian who stood head and…

U.S.—Christianity Today, on the forefront of an up-and-coming format called "print journalism," took a bold stance in an editorial today, suggesting that Trump is bad. In a shocking editorial, the magazine* and website took the bold…

WORLD—For a long time, it seemed as though Christians only liked two things: Jesus and burning books. From books of magic in the early church (because of the witchcraft) to Harry Potter (also the witchcraft), if it had words, we Christians…

Bombshell Report Indicates Parents May Have Bribed Kids To Smile For Christmas Photo U.S.—A new, bombshell report indicated that local parents Jeff and Cynthia Peyton may have bribed their children, Jenna and Aiden, to smile for this year's…