Christian Living

Wife Delivers 'State Of The Household' Address As Soon As Husband Gets Home Each Day OAK RIDGE, TN—The much anticipated State Of The Household address, a daily address by the chief executive of the home, Mrs. Andrea Miller, and typically…

Porn Addiction Ended By New Law That Requires Matt Walsh's Disapproving Face To Appear On All Adult Sites U.S.—Porn addiction has been entirely solved by a new law that requires all adult sites to serve up an image of Matt Walsh staring…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Amid the turmoil and confusion of President Trump’s impeachment hearing, one small voice silenced the noise to bring clarity and inspiration. Dragging a light blue blanket behind him, young Linus van Pelt entered the room…

U.S.—A new study is worrying pastors and other evangelical leaders, as it suggests that fewer and fewer people are pretending to be Christians than ever before. While in years past, the vast majority of the country pretended to be…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Pelosi lashed out at a reporter who asked her if she hated President Trump today, invoking her Catholic religion as a basis for her obvious total lack of hate for anyone. This got her in hot water with progressives, who…

U.S.—Chinese missionaries arrived on the shores of California today to bring the gospel to the "most unreached country in the world," America. "We're always praying that God would bring the gospel to the dark land of America," said one…

PORTSMOUTH, NH—As a Christian, Colin Anderson finds himself arguing against sinful behavior, but as a libertarian, Anderson finds himself spending even more time arguing vociferously that such behavior should be perfectly legal. “I can’t…

Obscure Holiday Known As 'Thanksgiving' Apparently Celebrates Obsolete Custom Called 'Gratitude' U.S.—With so many different cultures melting in the pot, it's hard for Americans to keep track of all the different customs and holidays…

HEAVEN—According to sources from the afterlife, Beverly Partin, who taught the 3-year-olds at her church for over 50 years, is a "total baller" in heaven. The longtime children's ministry volunteer is "living large," with a sprawling…

ATLANTA, GA—Chick-fil-A has announced a major change in the production of its delicious chicken sandwiches. The company will now be outsourcing all food production to McDonald's. According to corporate spokespeople, since the company's…