Christian Living

Small Island Of Uncultured Savages Rejects America's Gracious Attempt To Introduce Them To Good Food SMALL UNCULTURED ISLAND IN THE ATLANTIC—A previously unexplored small island of uncultured savages in the Atlantic has rejected American…

Pope Announces Any Time Spent Watching 'The View' Counts As Time Served In Purgatory VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has made one of his official, Popey announcements. (For our Protestant audience, a declaration from the pope is kinda like when…

Updated Wedding Vows Specifically Include Allowing Your Wife To Steal The Blankets Every Night U.S.—An updated set of wedding vows will force the groom to specifically promise to allow his bride to steal the blankets every night until…

SANTA MONICA, CA—Security and smart home manufacturer Ring recently announced a new version of its innovative video doorbell. The Debate Ring Pro is designed to engage in theological arguments with visitors from other religious backgrounds.…

U.S.—Limited edition UGG shoes filled with essential oils sold out almost right away, reports claim. The shoes, dubbed the "Karen," are filled with a blend of calming jasmine and holy basil, promising to comfort the wearer when she needs to…

Husband Declares His Love Language Is Marathoning All The 'Lord Of The Rings' Movies MORGANTOWN, WV—Local couple Brad and Jenny Parsley have been taking a class at their church on figuring out what their love languages are. Jenny has…

WORLD—A grim report indicated Wednesday that the count of people murdered by known hate group Chick-fil-A has risen to 0 this year. While previous years saw counts averaging 0 and sometimes going in the negative as Chick-fil-A…

U.S.—The Newsboys announced over the weekend that they have replaced Michael Tait with new frontman Kanye West. After Kanye seemed to experience a recent conversion to Christianity, the Newsboys immediately began seeking him out in secret,…

Tiny Versions Of Dave Ramsey, Joel Osteen Whisper In Man's Ear As He Agonizes Over Purchasing Expensive Power Tools LEIDERSBERG, VA—Local man Dave O'Gorman went to Home Depot for the fifth time today after buying the wrong size screw again.…

TULSA, OK—Local homeschool mom April Wilson and her husband took their kids on an outing they will never forget. Like most homeschool parents, the Wilsons decided to homeschool solely on the conviction that public schools today just don't…