Christian Living

ATLANTA, GA—Call this one a win for modesty: Chick-fil-A is introducing the world's first fully clothed chicken breasts. "Modest is hottest---and now modest is also the most delicious," said Dan Cathy, CEO. "While other, sin-filled…

Saudi Arabia Closes Down New Chick-Fil-A Location For Disappointing Lack Of Homophobia RIYADH—Chick-fil-A executives were delighted when Riyadh development authorities invited the restaurant to open a new location in the city. They love…

Hardcore Marriage Conference Will Just Have You Play Mario Kart Against Your Spouse All Weekend U.S.—A new series of marriage conferences and retreats will bring you and your spouse to an idyllic location and then just have you play Mario…

Ken Ham's New Life-Size Tower Of Babel Reproduction Plagued With Construction Delays WILLIAMSTOWN, KY—Ken Ham is at it again! Following the success of Ark Encounter, the good folks at the Creation Museum have broken ground on their newest…

Disaster At Union Seminary As Giant, Angry Carnivorous Plant Does Not Accept Students' Apologies HARLEM, NY—Union Seminary recent held a chapel service where its students could apologize to plants for their climate sins. Everything…

Paralyzed Man Lowered Through Hole In Roof Of Chick-Fil-A In Hopes Of Being Healed ONTARIO, CA—The stories about Chick-fil-A employees' miraculous healing powers have spread far and wide. From employees saving people from choking to raising…

U.S.—A tough, high-priced, and brutally competitive housing market is forcing more and more millennials to live in a van down by the river. Many 20-30 somethings are also having to live on a steady diet of government cheese, sources…

New Version Of Monopoly For Christian Women Has You Recruit All The Other Players Into A Pyramid Scheme PAWTUCKET, RI—Hasbro has unveiled a new version of Monopoly targeted at Christian women. The game, titled Ms. Monopoly: Church Edition,…

U.S.—A new app lets your spouse control the car with voice commands from the passenger seat. Whenever your spouse says things like, "Why don't you take Fifth, it's a lot faster?" or "This way's a lot slower than my way," the car will…

SANDY SPRINGS, GA—Badly shaken eyewitnesses are providing disturbing reports that the “Singles Together” singles group of CrossBreeze Christian Church may be significantly less attractive than portrayed on the church’s website. “I clicked…