Christian Living

Catholic School Cures Harry Potter Fans By Forcing Them To Read JK Rowling's Twitter Feed NASHVILLE, TN—St. Edward Catholic School recently banned Harry Potter books from its library, which makes sense because you really can't run a…

For Safety Of Students, Catholic School Bans Concealed Carry Of Harry Potter Books GOODVILLE, TN—In order to protect the students at St. Margaret Catholic School from deadly spells such as Avada Kedavra, Wingardium Leviosa, and Lumos,…

New Christian Movie Follows High School Football Team That Overcomes Adversity But Still Loses Every Game Of The Season U.S.—A new Christian movie released by Acceptable Entertainment follows the inspiring story of a high school football…

U.S.—Millions of Americans have repented of their sinful ways and turned to Jesus after hearing that Democrats are going to be on CNN for seven whole hours talking about climate change next week. Whole cities, towns, and states accepted…

U.S.—A new report released by evangelical research team SpiritStudies confirmed Thursday that sarcasm is "like, totally a fruit of the Spirit." "Oh yeah, sarcasm? That's definitely a fruit of the Spirit---like such a great way to…

U.S.—A new source claims that Judas Iscariot was seen at a Jerusalem Popeyes shortly before betraying Christ for 30 pieces of silver. The scholar, who identified himself as Dr. Cain Dathy, said that new textual analysis makes it clear that…

Covenant Eyes Eradicates Pornography Addiction With New, Highly Effective Eye-Plucking Feature Brought to you by: OWOSSO, MI—In what can only be described as a miracle, pornography addiction among Christians has been nearly eradicated…

U.S.—A new study has shown what coffee-drinkers have long known to be true: a lack of coffee directly increases the sinfulness of your thoughts, attitudes, emotions, and desires. "For instance, you're much more likely to want to punch…

U.S.—Chick-fil-A restaurants across the country have installed confessionals so people can repent from eating at Popeyes before partaking in the sacrament of delicious Chick-fil-A sandwiches. "Bless me, assistant manager, for I have…

Nation's Chick-Fil-A Employees Begin Marching Around Popeyes Restaurants Blowing Trumpets U.S. —The war between God's chosen chicken sandwich restaurant and the heathen chicken restaurant Popeyes continues to heat up. Early Monday morning,…