Christian Living

CHESTERFIELD, MO—In a casual conversation with a coworker Friday, local Christian man Bob Demetriou stated that he believes in absolute truth. "Yeah, I think it makes sense to believe in absolute truth," he said as he poured himself another…

U.S.—A new essential oil blend will help you stay really mad about everything. Dubbed "Outrage," the specialized blend contains authentic extract of coffee beans, sweat from Antifa protestors, liberal tears, and a hair plucked from the…

Local Christian Would Do Anything For Jesus Except Believe Things That Are Unpopular BROOKLYN, NY—"I would do anything for my faith," local Christian Ethan Werner told a BuzzFeed News religion reporter as they met in a Brooklyn coffee shop,…

NASHVILLE, TN—The Gideons International is an organization that has become known for trying to get the Bible into hotel rooms, schools, university campuses, and pretty much anywhere that Bibles are needed, which is, like, everywhere. But…

U.S.—A new study found that 9 out of 10 Baptists do not recommend doing the floss. Of the Baptists surveyed, 90% did not recommend doing the floss dance that is sweeping our nation's youth. "Some have suggested there are health benefits to…

Christians Demand Reparations From Joshua Harris For All The Hot Dates They Missed Out On U.S.—The nation's Christians have filed a lawsuit against author and ex-Christian Joshua Harris for making them miss out on so many hot dates in their…

Progressive Christian Loves Gay People But Not Enough To Share The Gospel With Them QUEENS, NY—Local progressive Christian Ziggy Hans loves gay people. He's always sure to berate his conservative Christian enemies for not…

As Sign Of Reverence, Evangelical Leaders To Begin Writing President's Name As 'Tr-mp' U.S.—In a press conference Friday, evangelical leaders called on their followers to begin referring to the President as "TR-MP" in all written materials,…

Brought to you by BELLFLOWER, CA—Ray Comfort has introduced millions of Christians to the Way of the Master method of evangelism. Now, Comfort and his team are kicking things up a notch with the Way of the Master Mixed-Martial Evangelism…

AFTERLIFE—A new report from the afterlife indicated that the television sets in the waiting room outside hell are playing a steady stream of CNN's 24/7 broadcast. As people condemned to hell wait for their paperwork to be processed, they're…