Christian Living

Hot New Presidential Candidate Larry The Cucumber Promises Everyone A Water Buffalo KITCHEN SINK—A dark horse presidential candidate has come out of nowhere: Larry the Cucumber. He shot to fame almost immediately after his promise of giving…

Georgia Lawmaker Claims Chick-Fil-A Employee Told Her To Go Back To Her Country, Later Clarifies He Actually Said 'My Pleasure' ATLANTA, GA—Georgia state rep Erica Thomas took to social media this weekend to express her disgust and outrage…

WORLD—A bizarre new cult submerges its converts in a tiny pool, sources around the world confirmed. Founded a relatively recent 2,000 years ago (compared with the age of the earth which is 6,000 years), the cult takes new members and holds…

Compassionate Christian Votes For Government To Steal Money From His Neighbor And Give It To The Poor HILLSIDE, OR—A lot of Christians are criticized for not being very compassionate to the poor. But you can't say that about Larry DeManson,…

Christians Should Be More Like Jesus, Who Was Loved By Everybody And Never Divisive Christians these days are just the worst. They are always taking stances on divisive issues like abortion and marriage and constantly have a lot of people…

FRANKLIN, TN—Tragedy struck the Hanson household today. The family sat down to eat together this evening as usual. Sadly, as the family worked together to set the table, put out the food, and dig in, they missed one crucial step: praying…

Small Group Sits In Awkward Silence For 14 Hours Waiting For Someone To Answer Leader's Question COLLEGE PARK, GA—Attendees at a small group run by Jesus Bible Church of Christ confirmed Monday that the study's leader waited for a full 14…

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Thousands of flannel-clad, bearded men descended on Washington, D.C. to march in the first annual Calvinist Pride Parade, sources at the nation's capital confirmed Thursday. Calvinists from across the country came out…

U.S.—Chick-fil-A's popular mascot the Chick-fil-A Cow has announced his 2020 run on a platform of making the government run much more efficiently, being much more friendly to people, and of course, eating more chicken. The cow's populist…

BOSTON, MA—Local believer Kyle Greenwood is still relying on equal parts of the Holy Spirit and large quantities of coffee to get him through each day, sources close to the man confirmed Wednesday. "As believers, we have to acknowledge that…