Christian Living

ORLANDO, FL — Walt Disney World has unveiled plans for its new The Chosen roller coaster, which will take riders underground for three days before rising again."We are thrilled to let fans experience The Chosen like never before," announced…

JOHNS CREEK, GA — In the middle of his normal routine of scrolling through X and binging Netflix for several hours each night, local man Jimmy Winters suddenly realized that he felt far from God for some reason."Why do I feel so far from…

ESCONDIDO, CA — A Presbyterian seminary has taken swift action by expelling a student who violated standards of character and conduct when he decided to smoke low-quality cigars on campus.Westminster Seminary California was founded in 1980…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden issued a stern condemnation of Jesus Christ after learning that the Savior of mankind had the audacity to rise from the dead on Biden's "Trans Day Of Visibility"."Who does this Jesus think he is?" shouted…

HELL-The Prince Of Darkness welcomed a man to Hell this week who spent a good portion of his time on earth knocking on public bathroom stall doors to see if they were occupied."Well, done, Dave Smith," The Devil told his new resident. "You…

AUSTIN, TX — A local man declared himself free of any need to belong to a local church, relying instead on the fact that he studies the Bible for himself, clearly indicating he has never studied the Bible for himself."I don't need the…

Fam, you may have heard about this new thing people are calling "Artificial Intelligence." It's like having this all-knowing friend you can message at any moment, because they literally never sleep. You can ask anything, like, "Can you eat…

Time flies! One moment you're a kid consuming copious amounts of top-tier Christian entertainment content, and before you know it, you're middle-aged with a spouse, some kids, and a mortgage. Whatever happened to all those beloved Christian…

SANTA ANA, CA — A local professing Christian notified his friends, family members, and everyone who attended his church that, while he was not removing Jesus from his life, he was leaving religion behind."I'm just leaving religion, not…

Let me get real with you, fam. Babylon Bee