Christian Living

U.S.—A new line of manlier essential oil scents is now available. Including scents like bacon, V8 engine exhaust, freshly cut grass, and assault rifles, the new line of essential oils arrives just in time for Father's Day. Developed by…

MORADO, TX—Devout Christian Alex Jamison rushed himself in for HIV testing today after briefly making eye contact with an allegedly gay man. "Our eyes made contact," he said. "I gotta get tested!" Jamison reportedly ran into the nearest HIV…

Chick-Fil-A Celebrates Pride Month By Serving Delicious Chicken Sandwiches To Everyone Just Like All The Other Months U.S.—Chick-Fil-A restaurants are celebrating the LGBT pride movement all month long by serving delicious chicken…

Homophobic Bigot Changes His Ways After Stumbling Across Rainbow-Colored Corporate Logo On Facebook RICHARDSON, TX—Local homophobic bigot Dan Carlton was minding his own business, surfing the web on his laptop Tuesday afternoon when…

Christians and unbelievers alike seem to struggle with this question: does a politician's moral character matter? It's a tricky one. There are so many factors! Luckily, we put our political experts to work, and they were able to distill the…

CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—In a solemn launch ceremony, Vice President Mike Pence blasted off in a repurposed, totally rebuilt Space Shuttle in order to leave the earth and its temptations behind and reside on the Moon where there are no…

Jerry Falwell Jr. Whips Out Sword To Hack Ear Off Man Who Briefly Criticized Donald Trump LYNCHBURG, VA—According to sources at Liberty University, school president Jerry Falwell, Jr. hacked the ear off a man who said a few words…

After Brief Prayer From David Platt, Trump Announces He's Selling All His Possessions And Going On A Missions Trip To Somalia WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a surprise announcement, President Trump has declared he is selling everything that he has…

PALO ALTO, CA—A new missionary dating app has been launched by a startup company in Silicon Valley. The app, called Witness & Chill, promises to pair Christian users with a hot unbeliever they can date and then convert to belief…

Brought to you by AMARILLO, TX—After reading Christ's command to love his neighbor as himself Wednesday morning, local Christian Mark Kaylor felt convicted, since he hadn't made a concerted effort to leave his comfort zone and go meet…