Christian Living

DAYTONA, FL — Despite local man Roger Turnbull nailing every single word and intonation of the rap part in "Jesus Freak", Turnbull's two kids somehow remained unimpressed with his lyrical prowess. Babylon Bee

ANAHEIM, CA — Financial guru Dave Ramsey sprang out of a shopping mall fountain today to scold a woman who had frivolously wasted an entire quarter on a wish."Young people these days have no idea how important it is to save every cent," a…

HOUSTON, TX — A Christian missionary finally reached his destination after a long, arduous journey to Joel Osteen's church to reach people who have never heard about Jesus.The eager young missionary arrived at Lakewood Church, which is home…

U.S. — According to reports from several sources, the President's poll numbers are — Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Is that girl over there reading a KING JAMES BIBLE? DAAAAAAANG! I would maintain my purity and ask her father's permission for…

Many people are familiar with Dante's famous "9 Circles of Hell," where different categories of pitiful souls spend eternity in horrific torment for their sins. Still, the ones he wrote about may seem a little outdated for modern readers.…

It's a New Year, which means it's time to make resolutions — even for prominent evangelical leaders. The Babylon Bee asked the following well-known figures in the faith what they hope to accomplish in 2024:Joel Osteen: Deceive twice as many…

LOS ANGELES, CA — Massive waves have come crashing into the California coast as the Lord in His graciousness has sent ocean waters to wash away the sidewalk poop."Behold, He is making all things new!" cried out Los Angeles residents as the…

HOUSTON, TX — Famed Christian apologist and professor Dr. William Lane Craig irrefutably proved God's existence today by simply pointing to a plate of freshly made fish tacos."Forget Aquinas' five ways -- there is but one argument needed to…

SILVER SPRING, MD — An offshoot of the popular Chick-fil-A restaurant has been opened by Seventh-Day Adventist Church members and will reportedly be closed on Saturdays, but open on Sundays. The new fast-food restaurant goes by the name…

Christians can be hard to buy gifts for. You've gotta know what they're into, what kinds of gifts they'd consider sinful, and most of all, what denomination they're a part of. There's no holiday faux pas like accidentally gifting a John…