Christian Living

U.S.—After a popular CCM artist recently gave a vague answer when asked whether or not homosexuality is a sin, the nation's believers expressed their utter shock that someone in the Christian music industry doesn't have a strong,…

Christian Listening To 'Baby It's Cold Outside' Wondering Why Unmarried Couple Is Alone In The First Place BOSTON, MA—After classic pop standard "Baby, It's Cold Outside" came on the radio Tuesday morning, local Christian man Frank Larson…

Local Woman's Sudden Desire To Start A Small Group Definitely Has Nothing To Do With Her Work-From-Home Jewelry Sales Business FOOTHILL MEADOWS, CA—Local woman Tricia Powers confirmed Monday that her sudden interest in running a small group…

Last Place Fantasy Football Team Invokes Matthew 19:30 Loophole, Declared To Be First PORTLAND, OR—Derrick Martinez' fantasy football team is dead last in his church's annual league, having gone 0-13 so far this year. The rest of the men at…

Southwest Airlines Apologizes For Employee Making Fun Of Kid Named 'Total Depravity' SANTA ANA, CA—Southwest Airlines has finally apologized after a mother claimed an employee made fun of her son named "Total Depravity" as they were…

Church Converts Nursing Mothers Room Into Room For Checking Your Fantasy Football Team PINEFALL, NV—In a move designed to attract more of the elusive men's demographic, Church of the Pines debuted its new room for checking your fantasy…

GARY, IN—Local teenager Mark Carson was inundated with a flood of marriage proposals after he casually whipped out his guitar after youth group Sunday afternoon, sources at Cataclysm Youth Collective confirmed. The boy pulled out his $99…

Christian Women Now In Favor Of Invading Middle East After Pentagon Claims They Have Essential Oil U.S.—After the release of a Pentagon report claiming countries in the Middle East have essential oil resources for our national security and…

ATLANTA, GA—Local theologically progressive Christian Mandy Barton remarked Tuesday that she really wishes Jesus of Nazareth were as woke as she is. Barton lamented that Jesus didn't use His platform for more virtue signalling and faux…

Global Warming Pinned On Kid Who Keeps Leaving The Front Door Wide Open While The Heater Is On GRANTS PASS, OR—Scientists have finally discovered the primary cause of global warming: local kid Oliver Paulson, who left the front door wide…