Christian Living

Finding a good, Christian girl has never been harder. That's why The Babylon Bee is here to help out by offering you this tried and tested list of the absolute best places to look.Chick-fil-A drive-thru: A woman who values the Lord's…

DEARY, ID — Marriage experts now confirm that a husband reminding his wife that the Bible says she should submit to him leads to the happiest marriages."The science is settled," said an elated group of marriage researchers in lab coats as…

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — In light of the ongoing war in the Middle East, the hosts of The 700 Club have set the Rapture Clock two minutes closer to the start of the tribulation. Viewers are advised to engage in common-sense soul-searching as…

GREENWICH, CT — Local Christian man Don Stanton has reportedly become so deep and spiritual, he's no longer edified by sermons that simply preach the Gospel."I'm way past that basic 'Jesus died for your sins' stuff," said Mr. Stanton.…

BIDDLEFORD, ME — The foundations of Christendom were rocked to their very core this week after local atheist Chaz Piddington noted that Christians eat shellfish and wear mixed fabrics. "You claim to be a Christian, and yet I noticed you're…

EDMOND, OK — Local man Samuel Higgins declined an invitation to join a men's accountability group today, not wanting to embarrass the other men with his complete and total righteousness."I just don't want to make people feel bad with my…

HOPKINSVILLE, KY — Local Christian Stewart Tepid was careful to include a disclaimer with his recommendation of the hit TV show Naked Murder Mountain, saying, "It's a really good show besides the nudity, homosexuality, violence, swearing…

PEARLY GATES — The late Steve Christiansen, a devout Christian who had filled his mortal days serving others and standing for truth and righteousness, was about to walk through the gates to heaven when an ever-vigilant St. Peter heard him…

Brought to you by: Compassion InternationalWe know we are to give back to God a portion of what He has given us — but does only money count as tithing? Here are eight activities The Babylon Bee has found that actually count toward your…

SARASOTA, FL — Local man Brad Snyder has long maintained that yoga pants are too revealing and thus sinful, but today his wife tried a pair on and, well, something changed inside Mr. Snyder."AWOOOOOGA!!" exclaimed Mr. Snyder, watching his…