Christian Living

Far too many professing believers claim to follow Christ without first counting the cost. What if Jesus asks you to give up certain luxuries? What if he asks you to forsake mansions, boats, or vacations to exotic locations? What if he…

U.S.—A new study carried out by Brown University found that couples who occasionally glance up from their phones or tablets in order to acknowledge each other’s presence have the happiest relationships. “While many partners are too…

NASHVILLE, TN—Following the recent announcement that The Big Bang Theory would be canceled after twelve seasons of making people chuckle approximately once every three episodes, local creationist Bill Darner began to gloat publicly over…

U.S.—A panel of evangelical leaders, including Jim Bakker, Pat Robertson, and Jerry Falwell, Jr., announced Wednesday they will resume preaching about the importance of absolute truth the moment that President Trump leaves office. Their…

U.S.—A new Noah’s Ark playset released by Answers in Genesis ministries features heathen action figures you can actually drown in any nearby body of water. The figures are equipped with moisture-detection technology and will begin…

CLARK COUNTY, NV—The Hendersons may have chosen to homeschool their children from the time they were 2 years old, but that doesn’t mean their little ones don’t get to participate in real school experiences like field trips. For this…

NASHVILLE, TN—Thomas Nelson Publishers will debut a new Bible highlighter set designed especially for progressive believers, consisting only of pens in 5 different shades of whiteout, sources confirmed. According to company spokesperson…

U.S.—Academia’s foremost experts on the Hebrew book of Psalms are now claiming the phrase often translated as “Lift up your hands” is actually better rendered “Just stand there with your hands in your pockets.” Scholarship now suggests…

DETROIT, MI—Much like Job from the Bible, Stephen Bowen found his faith tested by Satan when calamity struck, giving him extremely unreliable internet for three whole hours one evening. It started as he sat down to continue binge-watching…

U.S.—A new, redeveloped version of Tinder for Christians now will just match every single female user with Jesus. Women using the app will be presented with various potential matches, but the service’s programming won’t allow them to match…