Christian Living

BATON ROUGE, LA — Following several years of diligent highlighting during his daily devotions, a local man has soaked every single word in his Bible with layers of neon highlighter and underlining, and now has no idea which Scriptures are…

SPRINGFIELD, MO — This week, Christian Republicans expressed disappointment when the expected Red Wave™ was downgraded to a "red trickle." Widespread reports indicated that their frustration with the election results was acute enough to…

MONTGOMERY, AL — According to sources, local man Jason Donaldson is feeling defeated in his Christian walk as he continues to struggle with sin over and over again. Also, he hasn't read or opened his Bible since January 2 of this year."Why…

PARADISE — A local man was suddenly struck with fear as he stood in line to enter Heaven when Saint Peter unexpectedly asked him to answer how many warriors were in the tribe of Simeon at the time of the Exodus."I…I don't know," the man…

PEORIA, IL — Rather than going through the unmitigated awkwardness of sharing the gospel with his coworker Brad, local man Dave Cannon has instead quit his job and become a missionary to a remote village in Africa."Look, I knew how offended…

U.S. — With inflation and consumer prices climbing faster than ever, Christians around the country are finding it easier than ever to stop storing up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and…

CLEVELAND, OH — Local man Vincent Palmer revealed his total unfamiliarity with life or God today, as he assured a suffering friend that God would never give him more than he could handle."Hey don't worry man, you've got the strength to…

HOUSTON, TX — Lakewood Church Pastor Joel Osteen has begun selling his own unique brand of table salt, which is completely devoid of any and all saltiness."It looks like salt, you can trick people into thinking it's salt - but there's…

PEARLY GATES — Anthony Spinner, a Wisconsin man who'd recently been broken in half during a backyard wrestling match, attempted to argue his way into the Kingdom of Heaven by showing Saint Peter the Ukraine flag he placed on his Twitter…

HEAVEN — After once again finding herself with fourteen million messages asking for prayer, the Blessed Virgin Mary decided to finally just set her voicemail to forward directly to Jesus."Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to pray to my Son on…