Church

BOISE, ID — A still-ongoing 27-hour stalemate ensued after two Mormon missionaries knocked on the door of a family of Jehovah's Witnesses."I'm Elder Young from the Church Of Jesu--," said Mormon missionary Timothy Young, before he was…

For years, I’ve watched men in the Church try to gain respect by being nice and fail miserably. They serve, they sacrifice, they bend over backward to please everyone around them, especially their wives. But it doesn’t lead to the life they…

IRVINE, CA — Local Associate Pastor Mark Sullivan took a leave of absence following a disastrous Sunday service in which he presented a message that mistakenly included his prompts to ChatGPT asking it to write his sermon for him.The…

OMAHA, NE — Sources close to Peter Wilfred report that the 30-year-old got down on his knees last Sunday to thank God that he wasn't like all the sorry churchgoers around him who can't sing a harmony. Wilfred allegedly sent up his prayer…

SAN FERNANDO, CA — The Gomez family is back on the market for a new church after learning their home church was full of sinners."At first we loved our church, but then we ran into some problems," said James Gomez. "It turned out there were…

SALT LAKE CITY — A letter issued by the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has clarified what lay members have long suspected: that upon death, apostates will be sent to outer darkness where there is only…

XUANHUA — One local family's search for a new place of worship continued last weekend, as a couple declined to attend a Chinese underground church over its lack of children's programming.The couple had been eager to check out a nearby…

VATICAN CITY — According to Vatican officials, newly elected Pope Leo XIV spent the majority of his first day on the job undoing all of the former pope's executive orders.With his first homily in office out of the way, Pope Leo reportedly…

Being a preacher is a thankless job. You do your best to "rightly divide the Word of Truth" each week, but no one pays attention. But it's not their fault, it's yours. In all likelihood, you're making one of ten common, and sometimes…

U.S. — In the minutes following the announcement of Chicago Cardinal Robert F. Prevost as the new Pope, Vice President Vance has reportedly already begun making plans to kill him. "I gotta keep the streak alive," said the killer of the…