Church

JOPLIN, MO — What began as a routine church service ended in catastrophe as a local worship leader suffered a devastating injury while attempting to play an "F" chord on the guitar.Members of the church's congregation reported that the…

PAMPA, TX — Reports are spreading of a remarkable miracle occurring in a small Texas town, where a family with small children is said to have made it to church on time.According to sources, the Davis family arrived in the sanctuary at 9:58…

HENDERSONVILLE, TN — A local congregation was thrown into despair this week after being notified that the Holy Spirit's presence had departed from the church building after discovering it was just a remodeled Pizza Hut."This is a…

SAN BERNARDINO, CA — Local church Elevation Catalyst Conglomerate, formerly known as First Baptist, is reportedly building a brand new 5,000-seat church campus in San Bernardino. According to sources, the pastor has directed his architect…

HATTIESBURG, MS — Local man Don Richardson revealed himself to be utterly dead inside after failing to shed a single tear while the congregation of First Baptist Church sang "O Holy Night"."Given the circumstance, it's hard to say if Don is…

BEAUFORT, SC — Local man Josh Reynolds officially pledged today to tithe $700 million to First Baptist Church of Beaufort, which he explained will be paid out as one dollar per year over the next 700 million years."I'm really proud to have…

VATICAN CITY — The Catholic Church announced this week Pope Francis has excommunicated the Apostle Paul over the latter's outdated views on women, families, and social issues."We regret to announce Saint Paul is no longer a member of the…

VATICAN CITY — A group of men pretending to be women were invited to the Vatican today to share a special lunch with a man pretending to be Catholic."It's a match made in pretend heaven," said local man Angelo Russo as he threw on a dress.…

It can be so confusing, trying to figure out which of the 437 Christian denominations you want to join. In fact, scientists believe there are almost as many denominations as there are genders. That's a lot of different ways to do…

BIRMINGHAM, AL — Pastor Donald Rogers of Second Baptist Birmingham started today's service by unveiling a new church disclaimer that any lyrics about lifting up your hands should be understood as strictly metaphorical."Actually raising your…