Church

RAYTOWN, MO — The Almighty God finally had enough and had to break some difficult news to a local churchgoer today, as He sent word to a woman that she was no longer allowed to bring her tambourine to church."That's enough, Cindy.…

LAKE FOREST, CA — Saddleback Church has doubled down on its support for adding female pastors to its staff, despite being kicked out of the Southern Baptist Convention, with founding pastor Rick Warren boasting that he has ordained even…

Summertime is just around the corner, which means one thing: churches across the country are soon to be overrun with thousands of feral children. What was once upon a time known for wholesome things like cookies & Kool-Aid, learning…

June used to be the most exciting month of the year. Coming from someone who hates winter, June has always been a welcome celebration of summertime, complete with the longest days of the year and some of the warmest. It was always the month…

This past Thursday morning, with Kathy, his partner in ministry and wife of 48 years by his side, Timothy James Keller, 72, the most influential evangelical of that last quarter century, died at his home on Roosevelt Island in New York…

WORLD — After many heated debates over matters of theology, doctrine, and church carpet color, Lutherans have all finally agreed to split and form his or her own individual synod."When you think about it, this was inevitable," said Randy…

ALPHARETTA, GA — North Point Community Church Pastor Andy Stanley has announced a brand new sermon series in which he will forgo his usual preaching style and instead just beat up a Bible with a steel chair. "I told you to un-hitch your…

KANSAS CITY, MO (NOT THE KS SIDE) – As the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America embraces a growing number of progressive positions, local Lutheran man Cliff Cliffstofferson wants to clarify that he is one of the weird ones who still…

TEMPE, AZ — Local father Stephen Taylor has become concerned that going to church could really intrude on his eleven-year-old's travel baseball schedule."With practice seven nights a week and 43 tournaments this summer, church just feels…

CHARLESTON, SC — Local man Steve Rollins juked and spun his way past church greeters during a visit to First Baptist Church today, stunning church staff with his world-class elusiveness."Whoa! My vision is a little fuzzy - is that Saquon…