Church

U.S. — In the minutes following the announcement of Chicago Cardinal Robert F. Prevost as the new Pope, Vice President Vance has reportedly already begun making plans to kill him. "I gotta keep the streak alive," said the killer of the…

The Catholic Church has officially begun the process of selecting a new Pope, using a mysterious and secretive method known as a "conclave." So, how does a conclave work? Here is everything you need to know:What is a conclave?From the…

U.S. — The Baptist Church has released a new, improved hymnal which contains all of the Silly Songs sung by Larry the Cucumber.Featuring powerful tunes such as "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" and "The Hairbrush Song," the updated…

FORT WAYNE, IN — Handbell choir conductor Matthew Grey was recently forced to ask the congregation to stop yelling "FREEBIRD!" during handbell performances.According to Grey, who directs the Magnificat Handbell Choir of St. Paul's Lutheran…

Speculation over who will be the next occupant of the Holy See has gone wild, with President Trump the latest to throw his name into the ring. Here are twelve changes Trump is promising to make if he is named the next Pope:Communion wine…

Russell Moore, editor-in-chief of Christianity Today, said nothing when the publication he heads published a piece during Holy Week questioning the inerrancy of Scripture and insinuating that perhaps Jesus was roped, not nailed, to a cross.…

VATICAN CITY — With no pope to oversee them, the College of Cardinals has been staying up every night playing Goldeneye 007 and building pillow forts, according to Vatican insiders.The cardinals converged on the Vatican to mourn Pope…

VATICAN CITY — In a stirring tribute to Pope Francis, President Donald Trump took to the microphone during the pontiff's funeral services and stunned attendees by singing a gorgeous, captivating a capella rendition of "Ave Maria".Following…

CAROL STREAM, IL — An article published by Christianity Today calls into question the existence of Jesus, argues that the Bible is a lie, and says God is dead.The article was written by guest columnist Garth Strudelfudd, an avowed atheist,…

VATICAN CITY — Following the death of Pope Francis, cardinals within the Roman Catholic Church have expressed interest in electing a pope who's actually Catholic this time."Call me crazy, but I think the leader of the Catholic Church…