Church

FLOWER MOUND, TX — Evangelical preacher Matt Chandler condemned sneaky Republicans Sunday for winning the Christian vote by cleverly coming out against murder."I know the Democrats are the party of child sexual mutilation, porn in school…

HOUSTON, TX — Eyewitnesses at Lakewood Church reported that a congregant who shouted "Jesus is Lord" during a morning service was quickly told by Joel Osteen "I think you're at the wrong church."Sources say that the incident happened…

Growing up as a Christian in America, whenever politics came up in conversation, my response was typically, “I hate politics,” and then the conversation would move on to something more important, like football. Like me, many American…

WILMORE, KY — Congregants at Outpouring of Grace Church of Wilmore are reporting that God the Holy Spirit tragically failed to show up last Sunday when a worship leader only repeated the chorus five times.According to Brett, the assistant…

“Never Trump. This time Harris. Always Jesus.” These were the words not of Taylor Swift or Pete Buttigieg but of Ray Ortlund, a card-carrying member of “Big Eva,” in a recent Threads post. In his opinion, following Jesus means rejecting…

HEAVEN — Celestial sources shed light on the eternal rewards of two pastors yesterday, confirming that Frank Linderson, the pastor of a congregation of 40 people for over half a century was welcomed into Heaven's Avengers Tower while Brad…

KNOXVILLE, TN — Sources within First Covenant Church of Knoxville recently confirmed that Cameron Garrison, the head worship leader, was quite certain that he could write a better song than anything in that dusty old hymnal the church still…

KANSAS CITY, MO — Tragedy befell a local house of worship as early reports indicated that what had been a perfect church was immediately ruined after it was attended by one human being.The heartbreaking turn of events reportedly occurred as…

HEAVEN — While in eternal glory and revelry in the presence of the Lord and His saints, famed hymn writer Charles Wesley was kicking himself for not realizing he could just repeat the same chorus 20 times and call it a day.Wesley, who wrote…

So you finally up and bought that expensive bass guitar, but you're still not sure if you've got what it takes to be a real-life church bassist. Well, don't you fret, and don't you fear — we at the Babylon Bee have donned fake beards and…