Church

Brought to you by: The Focused PastorEveryone knows that being a pastor is a great way to get into Heaven, but did you know that being a pastor can make your life super easy on earth as well?The Babylon Bee painstakingly interviewed…

POPLAR BLUFF, MO — After reaching the end of another taxing Sunday pouring himself out to minister to his parishioners, a local pastor who gets paid $17,000 a year was shocked to hear from a disgruntled congregant that he's just in it for…

CLEVELAND, OH — Congregants at St. James Church report that Pastor Paul Mendoza set an inspiring example of Christian charity and forbearance by calmly explaining to worship leader Jason Green that bringing a tuba and playing the…

If you're cruising the pews for a husband or wife, there are some helpful tricks to spotting a great future spouse. Here are nine things to look for at Church this Sunday:Has a worn Bible - Excuse me, but I believe your holiness is…

BARI, ITALY — President Biden, who has for decades now pretended to be Catholic, took time away from the G7 summit this week to meet with a Pope who also enjoys pretending to be Catholic."Well hello there, fellow 'Catholic'! Hail Mary, am I…

INDIANAPOLIS — Southern Baptists passed a resolution this week authorizing women to take on leadership roles in church ministry — provided it is, of course, the sandwich ministry."Women should not be prohibited from leadership positions,"…

LEXINGTON, KY — Children of devout congregants are in for a treat later this month as a local church announced it would host a fun "Jan 6"-themed edition of Vacation Bible School this summer.Abundant River Church promised to recreate all…

David French 'canceled' the PCA and its evil white members long before they 'canceled' him. The Federalist

ST. LOUIS, MO - Local deaf man Robert Sloan thought the Children's Church Choir gave a really nice performance this morning of "I Am A Child Of God"."Wow, they did great," Sloan signed to his wife Sharon, whose ears were bleeding. "I'm so…

BATON ROUGE, LA — Local man Jeremy Fillip suffered a grand mal seizure today during the service at Spirit of Fire Rushing Winds Redemption Pentecostal Church, but tragically no one in the congregation noticed as he seemed to just be filled…