cold

WASHINGTON—Repeatedly asking if anyone else felt cold as they clutched their protruding elbows and rubbed their visible clavicles, the nation’s bony women announced Thursday that they were shivering. “Oh, my god, is it freezing in here, or…

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It’s the season for respiratory viruses. Chances are, you and your loved ones might catch one, but just say no, at least to the nasal swab. Encourage your family and friends to do the same. The Covid-19 test won’t change anything, but…

GREEN BAY, WI—In an act demonstrating clear confidence and pride in his own worth, self-respecting man Evan Landry reportedly heated up his leftovers from Garcia’s Mexican Restaurant in the microwave on Monday. “I could just dig into this…

KITIMAT, BC – A cellphone owned by local Elaine Jorgensen takes great delight in deceiving its owner in how much battery power remains by shutting off at the worst time possible, regardless of how much remaining battery is displayed.…

TORONTO – As local father Jalen Hart told the worker asking COVID checklist questions at the front entrance of the Little Tot’s Playhouse daycare that his child Marcus did not have a runny nose, onlookers reported seeing a single bead of…

OTTAWA – A new study has found that, for every three complaints expressed about winter, one complaint has been made about said complaints. “It’s like it’s their first winter ever!” said one of the research participants. “There’s this guy…