containers

BUTLER, PA—Groggy and bleary-eyed as he returned to consciousness, a terrified Donald Trump Jr. reportedly awoke in an ice-filled tub Monday to discover he was missing an ear. “Hello? Is anyone here?” said the 46-year-old son of the former…

NESSEBAR, BULGARIA—Lamenting that such an enterprise could never exist in the United States, vacationing sources confirmed Thursday that the foreign zoo they were visiting had a cage where they could box a lion. “Wow, for the equivalent of…

SLINGER, WI—The nation demanded this week to know what was inside that big silo over there, pointing to the tube-shaped farm structure as they noted that it could be anything, really. “Gotta have something in it, right? Like, farm stuff or…

AUSTIN, TX—Describing the plastic 5-gallon container as “a real stunner,” local father Edward Nielsen reportedly spent most of a phone call with his son Andrew on Monday praising a newly acquired bucket. “It’s a quality bucket, and…

Tupperware, the 77-year-old U.S. maker of food storage containers, warned that it could go out of business unless it can quickly raise new financing. What do you think?“It’s just not a good business modelif it depends on Americans leaving…