COVID

MONTREAL – “It must be seasonal allergies,” says 25-year-old Kyle Miller, as he blows his nose and coughs. Miller has never before had any seasonal allergies, but he does have tickets to a Vampire Weekend concert and he really, really wants…

See More: COVID, disease, Monkeypox, news in photo, Wish Beaverton

GENEVA – In a long expected admission by assembled health and safety representatives, citizens of countries across the world have been informed that we are all just going to have to endure regular, periodic outbreaks of Vladimir Putin. “At…

OTTAWA – With mask and vaccine mandates being lifted nationwide, anti-mandate protesters like Chad McCarthy of Red Deer, Alberta, are starting to realize despite their outward hatred, deep down they are actually totally obsessed with…

TORONTO – Grateful Canadians are gathering each evening to celebrate the conclusion of the deeply unpopular COVID-19 pandemic with the 7:00 pm launch of immunocompromised people from circus cannons. “Now that this nightmare’s finally over,…

OTTAWA — The Public Health Agency of Canada confirmed today that the country is now in the 6th wave of the COVID-19 pandemic signaled by the all too familiar pattern of climbing case numbers. While Wave 6 still has yet to fully unfold, many…

Oshawa, ON – Local man Dalton Framer took time to savour the fact that he was finally allowed to walk into a crowded KFC without a mask, regardless of the fact that Ontario is currently facing 100,000 cases a day of COVID. “Before the…

TORONTO – Local consulting firm J.P. Binderschlatz & Co. has once again asked it’s 40 employees to return to work in-office right at the peak of the latest COVID wave. “We’ve been mostly remote since March 2020,” explained assistant…

TORONTO – As part of their ‘don’t say anything about a 6th wave or we’ll cut you’ approach to managing COVID, Doug Ford and the Conservatives announced a full ban on sharing photos of positive rapid tests. “Seeing almost everyone you know…

By: Armond DeFrame Remember when Canada was respected? Before Justin Trudeau took a woke hammer and shattered the glass of our international reputation? I sure do. I remember when Canadian politicians could travel anywhere in the world and…