crab

COLUMBUS, OH—Pleased to see his years of hard work had finally paid off, sources confirmed Wednesday that the owner of the shuttered hermit crab kiosk at the mall had probably retired to his own private tropical island. “Good for him,” said…

JERUSALEM—Struggling not to betray their surprise at the large, crustacean-like appendages being waved around by the Son of God, people currently witnessing the Second Coming were apparently just going to pretend they already knew Jesus had…