creativeworks

LOS ANGELES—In a small, private ceremony held in the most severely atrophied reaches of his mind, Apollo 11 astronaut Buzz Aldrin celebrated his 93rd birthday last week by marrying his longtime hallucination of a sexy space babe. “The first…

Apple CEO Tim Cook will take a more than 40% pay cut this year after criticism from shareholders, a decision that will reduce his annual pay package from last year’s $99.4 million to $49 million. What do you think?“Hopefully, some of those…

ARLINGTON, VA—Struggling with what she called an “impossible decision,” local 32-year-old Olivia Montero told reporters Tuesday she didn’t want kids, but still wanted to name people. “Even though I’ve never been able to picture myself as a…

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Copyrights on works from 1927, including Arthur Conan Doyle’s short story collection The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes, have expired, making the works open to the public to legally share, perform, reuse, repurpose, or sample without…

With the significant increase in deceptive activity online, The Onion provides a handy guide to determine if someone is catfishing you.AdvertisementThey’re Hesitant To Share PhotosList slidesThey’re Hesitant To Share PhotosSure, they might…

NEW YORK—The NFL community was rocked by another disclosure of a devastating brain injury Wednesday after commissioner Roger Goodell announced that thinking too hard about football had given him CTE. “It is with sadness that I tell you…

WASHINGTON—After a particularly bad hit to the head left a member of the Commanders unresponsive, NFL gravediggers were seen rushing to the field Sunday to deliver last rites and bury the unconscious player. Several reports indicated that…