crypto

If you were to watch “Moneyball” today, you might find it quaint. You may recall the premise: In a world before “data-driven decisions” was a cliché, a likable nerd played by Jonah Hill helps craft a baseball roster from a spreadsheet,…

The future of America’s crypto industry will largely depend on the outcome of November’s presidential election. At the 2024 Bitcoin Conference in Nashville, Tennessee, former President Donald Trump outlined his ambitious vision for making…

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The U.S. attorney’s office for the Southern District of New York officially charged cryptocurrency exchange FTX’s founder Sam Bankman-Fried (SBF) with eight counts of fraud and conspiracy, calling the collapse of FTX “one of the…

OTTAWA – In the wake of a damming Global News Report that Pierre Poilievre used a hidden tag in his YouTube videos to appeal to online misogynistic groups, Canadians from coast to coast are wondering why he bothered to hide it? “Isn’t…

CALGARY – Local restaurant hostess and former beauty queen Sonia Norris is desperate for a man to tell her about Bitcoin, and can’t fathom why none of them will. “Nothing turns me on more than the thought of a guy telling me about Bitcoin…

SILICON VALLEY – Amid reports that NFT sales have plummeted 92% since September, the techbro who has struggled to explain what NFTs even are is also assuring you that “the drop is also definitely part of it”. “You see, NFTs are like a…

TORONTO – Scientists in Toronto have made a startling discovery this week: local man Josh Clybourne is able to justify at length why he invested in NFTs, but seems physically incapable of defining what an NFT is. “NFTs are like any other…

OTTAWA – In order to combat his well-known public image as an “insufferable know-it-all geek”, Conservative leadership hopeful Pierre Poilievre has revealed that he is also very into crypto. “If there’s one thing Canadians love, especially…

TORONTO – Three years after retiring its famed rewards system Canadian Tire, the retailer you go to for patio sets and Old Dutch potato chips, had announced they will bring back the system in crypto form. “Customers loved getting an absurd…