death

MINNEAPOLIS—Moved by the animal’s unwavering devotion, sources confirmed Wednesday that local 4-year-old cocker spaniel Biscuit refused to move from the spot where he had killed his beloved owner. “What a unique bond they must have had,”…

WORCESTER, MA—Blinking in disbelief as the individual passed him on the street alive and well, local serial killer Aaron Samuel Christensen confirmed to reporters Tuesday that he could have sworn he killed that guy already. “Is my memory…

SANTA FE, NM—Appearing visibly giddy as they released to the public a new barrage of information about the deceased couple’s living conditions, personal lives, and private health issues, local authorities announced Friday that even they…

When I was a little girl, I hoped Jesus wouldn’t return for a while. At least not until after I could drive. And graduate. And get married. And have babies. Life was too good to want anything cut short. I wanted salvation from hell — but…

TULSA, OK—Expressing concern about the most appropriate way to laud the life of a departed parishioner at her funeral, local priest Father Thomas O’Mannon was reportedly unsure Wednesday how obliquely to speak about the woman’s fatal hot…

During Lent, Christians around the world make all kinds of sacrifices big and small to separate themselves from the things of the world and get closer to God, often following the format of alms, prayer, and fasting as found in Jesus’…

A married couple on a flight from Australia to Qatar said they were forced to sit next to a dead woman’s body for four hours after a fellow passenger exited the restroom, collapsed, and died in front of them. What do you think? “I…

The first person to have a severe case of H5N1 bird flu in the United States has died, with the patient, who was over 65 and reportedly had underlying medical conditions, being hospitalized after exposure to both a backyard flock of birds…

MONCTON – New Brunswick finally has a resident who has mastered the art of counting to two – presumably without using their wings. When Sam, a two-year-old peregrine falcon, was rescued from the smoldering remains of a presumably-arson’d…

An unidentified disease with flu-like symptoms has killed dozens of people in the Democratic Republic of Congo, with unknown illness having led to the death of at least 79 people and sickened 376. What do you think? “Big deal, I’ve…