deities

ANTAKYA, TURKEY—Adding previously unknown context to the biblical story of Easter, the text of a newly discovered first-century papyrus scroll released to the public Thursday suggests that Jesus hid out in His tomb for a few extra days…

THE HEAVENS—With smoke and the acrid smell of charred cherubim filling the skies, celestial sources confirmed Wednesday that the Lord God Almighty accidentally burned down heaven this morning when His malfunctioning curling iron started an…

JERUSALEM—In a discovery researchers say could transform millennia of belief about Christianity’s founder, archaeologists from the University of Oxford uncovered new evidence Wednesday suggesting that Jesus Christ used followers’ money to…

NEW YORK—Sorting through the assets of the new company they had acquired, private equity firm Apollo Global Management confirmed they were heartbroken Monday after realizing there were no AOL employees left for them to fire. “There isn’t a…