disaster accident

EVERETT, WA—Reassuring investors and the general public following the widely reported implosion that took the lives of five passengers last week, OceanGate announced Monday that the debris of its Titan submersible was still safe to ride in.…

GREENVILLE, NC—In an update to fans revealing that he was almost a casualty of the disaster, YouTuber Jimmy Donaldson, better known as MrBeast, claimed Monday that he narrowly avoided death aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger. “I was…

WASHINGTON— Jumping at the sudden, unexpected sound, reports across the United States confirmed Thursday that the nation was startled by a loud noise. “Ah! Oh my god, what was that?” said 330 million Americans, noting that their heart just…

KALAMATA, GREECE—With time running out to ensure that no one made it out alive, emergency crews were dispatched Wednesday to help a boat full of refugees sink. “As soon as it became clear that a ship off the coast was carrying displaced…

DORAL, FL—In response to a missing submersible intended to take tourists to the site of the Titanic wreckage, a new Carnival Cruise Line advertisement released Tuesday claimed “we don’t look so bad now, do we? “Everyone always said that our…

NASA warns that a “wobble” in the moon’s orbit, which happens every 18.6 years, will combine with rising sea levels to bring dramatic increases in high-tide coastal floods across the U.S. in the 2030s. What do you think?“I’m so sick of the…

REDDING, CA—As they confronted a complex meta-conflagration said to be a result of the region’s record-breaking heat wave, California fire officials told reporters Monday that unrelenting high temperatures had caused a wildfire to catch…

A new hybrid car-aircraft prototype, which can transform from plane to road vehicle in under three minutes, has completed a 35-minute flight between two airports in Slovakia. What do you think?“This is perfect for people who want to die in…

SANTA FE, NM—Advising residents to avoid prolonged outdoor activity, the National Weather Service reported Friday that a scorching heat wave had caused unsightly blisters to bubble up across the American Southwest. “Although the region is…

WASHINGTON—According to federal officials currently monitoring the situation, the nation was rocked Tuesday by at least 40 million acts of total bullshit in what has now been confirmed as the most aggravating 24-hour span of time in U.S.…