duck

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Americans were reportedly taking part in celebrations and special programs across the country Friday in honor of the 150th anniversary of Thomas Edison inventing the electrical duck. “We take it for granted today, but the…

ROSEBURG, OR—Saying he felt like he was quacking for nothing, a local duck reportedly told his family Monday that he couldn’t believe he quacked his ass off all day to come home to this shit. “Seriously, this is the thanks I get? Do you…

DURHAM, NC—Pacing back and forth in front of a park bench on a beautiful sunny day, retired Duke University basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski reportedly spent Thursday afternoon screaming at the ducks to get back on defense. “What are you…