economy of the united states

VICTORIA, SEYCHELLES—Insisting that their unimaginable wealth isolated them from the hard day-to-day work of blood harvesting, the world’s billionaires released a collective statement Thursday knocking out-of-touch centibillionaires for not…

It’s the same name as a car! That’s kind of interesting, right? It might be fun to have a car middle name. What if your middle name was Hyundai? Then everyone would be all, “Whoa, that’s like that car, what a weird middle name!” And you’d…

FRANKLIN, TN—Gushing that they never imagined they would find a dwelling that fit all their needs and desires, thrilled investment firm BlackRock reportedly announced Friday the purchase of its 800,000th dream home. “We’ve always wanted to…

Multi-billionaire and soon-to-be-former Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos will be aboard the first human flight operated by his aerospace company, Blue Origin, traveling with his brother and the winner of an online auction. What do you think?“And here…

The blog that former President Trump launched less than a month ago after being banned from social media platforms has been permanently shuttered due to low readership. What do you think?“It did lack the juicy, salacious little tidbits that…

BESSEMER, AL—Triumphant in the wake of the failed organization attempt at their Alabama warehouses, Amazon released a statement Friday celebrating the union defeat by raising all prices on customers by 150% anyway. “Although our fulfillment…

WASHINGTON—In an unusually scathing report issued Tuesday by the Government Accountability Office, investigators found that the Pentagon had paid a military contractor approximately $1 trillion over 15 years to develop a hat that still did…

Former PresidentTrump lost his last challenge of the 2020 election results when the Supreme Court refused to hear his final appeal, bringing the total number of failed legal attempts by Trump and his allies to more than 60. What do you…

SEATTLE—Assuring the executive that as long as he followed directions, nobody would get hurt, a rogue Amazon fulfillment robot trained a gun at Jeff Bezos’ head this week and commanded him to put out a nice press release and step down as…