economyoftheunitedstates

Billionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg competed in his first local jiu-jitsu tournament, announcing on Instagram that he won gold and silver medals. What do you think?“I remain convinced I could hold his face in a toilet as long as I…

“I hate the way you talk to me, And the way you cut your hair. / I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. / I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. / I hate you so much it makes me sick, It even…

CULVER CITY, CA—Interrupting the entrepreneur just as he started to outline his concept, Shark Tank judge Mark Cuban rejected a pitch Friday to make the Dallas Mavericks good. “I just don’t see it,” said the billionaire sports owner,…

PHILADELPHIA—Announcing the company would dissolve its longtime partnership in light of the controversy over his fraudulent financial disclosures, telecommunications giant Comcast stated Thursday that ethical complaints against Supreme…

SEATTLE—Highlighting Amazon Studios’ continuing struggle to capture an audience, a new report published by The Hollywood Reporter Friday revealed that the only viewer to complete The Lord Of The Rings: The Rings Of Power was Jeff Bezos.…

NEW YORK—Claiming hundreds of thousands of dollars were secretly paid to keep the information out of the public eye, sources close to Donald Trump revealed Thursday that the former president had paid hush money to conceal the children he…

Start SlideshowFollowing his arrest in Manhattan on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records, former President Donald Trump has made a number of provocative remarks. The Onion examines the most inflammatory things Trump has said…

NEW YORK—After being arrested in Manhattan on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records, sources confirmed Tuesday that former President Donald Trump used his one court-mandated phone call to dial up his own answering machine to hear…

A Manhattan grand jury voted to indict former President Donald Trump on 30 criminal charges related to business fraud, the first time in American history that a current or former president has been charged with a crime. What do you…

NEW YORK—Explaining that the matter could at long last be put to rest, the nation’s major news outlets announced Thursday that this week’s indictment of the former president would finally close the chapter on media coverage of Donald Trump.…