Editorial

As February 2nd approaches, and I watch my friends and family stress over making the perfect plans for Groundhog Day, I can’t help but sit back and watch in bewilderment. Because you see, for me, every day is Groundhog Day. Sure, I…

Hey fellow members of the social media universe! I’m coming atcha with a really important message that none of us can risk ignoring. And while I know there’s a lot of wild happenings competing for your attention these days, please, please,…

By: Dalton Henderson, NHL Linesman That’s right you fucking rubes, get in the faceoff circle and put your sticks in, because you think I’m about to drop this puck. Well spoiler alert mother fuckers, I’m not gonna. Instead I’m going to hold…

By: Bryler Chadwick Why is it that every time I eat at Taco Bell, I’m surrounded by people who eat at Taco Bell?! Like, what kind of people eat this crap? I’m a normal, respectable guy who works at a gym. I just needed to use the washroom,…

By: Lyle Vucevic Every time the media describes the thousands of unvaccinated Canadians they talk about us like we are all absurd granola crunching hippies or right-wing Qanon truthers. And frankly I’m sick of it. I’m not an anti-vaxxer.…

By: Agent 361 Hi, I’m the agent who’s been assigned to monitor your every move since you received your covid-19 vaccine and, to be frank, I’m bored as shit. When your file first came across my desk, I was ecstatic – dazzled by the…

By: Erin O’Toole Listen up, Canadians: I know that some of you, especially the radical left, want Canada Day cancelled because of the recent discoveries of thousands of Indigenous children in unmarked graves outside of residential schools.…

Following the announcement by gold medal winning Olympian and reality television star Caitlyn Jenner that she will be running for governor of California, the sensitive and unresolved question must be asked: is the state of California ready…

As everyone knows I have just one responsibility in this world, and that is to lead us all through the annual exercise in futility that is the Feinstein family Passover seder. And after 16 consecutive years of false starts, half-measures,…

by Mr. Delaware Jackson of Branson, Missouri As a farmer and an American, I’ve had it just about up to here with Antifa attacking my way of life! Before Antifa, everything was perfect: my dairy cows were thriving, my freedom was as free as…