email

MONTREAL – A new study into your workplace’s efficiency habits has found that all the meetings you zone out in at work could easily have been replaced with an email that you would’ve pretended to skim over. “Research shows that workers who…

GOP lawmakers in critical swing-state Wisconsin are appealing a far-left Dane County judge’s decision sidestepping state election law and allowing voters with disabilities to electronically obtain absentee ballots. The order also has…

CLEVELAND—Lacking a North Star to guide him through his workday, local office worker Evan Pullman was reportedly lost like a sailor in a maelstrom Tuesday after the human resources department at Edgemere Industries failed to send out the…

DAYTON, OH—Several reports indicated Tuesday that the email that would tear your life apart was currently in your nemesis’s draft folder and that after it was sent, nothing would ever be the same again. According to sources, the 600-word…

WASHINGTON—Concluding that it had found no clear reason to doubt the veracity of such emails, texts, and direct messages, the Federal Communications Commission announced Tuesday that all messages it had seen offering free iPads seemed…

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NEW YORK—Explaining that any absence must be arranged ahead of time by following proper company protocol as listed in the employee handbook, Ada Simmons, HR manager at Hadley Systematics, sent an email Monday reminding staff that a doctor’s…

PORTSMOUTH, NH—Exclaiming with hypothetical delight upon receiving the correspondence from the vice president’s husband, local imaginary person Caitlin Hofstadter reportedly reacted to a Democratic National Committee fundraising message…

CALGARY — Eye witnesses indicate the wedding celebration of local couple Katy Myer and Brad Pedrad could absolutely have just been an email instead. “The entire time I was thinking: do I need to be here for this?” says Jenna Myer, sister of…