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BREAKING: Holy Shit, Daniel Day-Lewis Is In This

CLEVELAND—Screaming with delight when the rarely seen star appeared onscreen in the opening scene of the film, sources confirmed Thursday that, holy shit, Daniel Day-Lewis is in this. “Man, I thought this was just a Paul Dano flick,…

Report: This children’s entertainer isn’t Australian

MONTREAL – A nationwide survey of children’s entertainers has made a surprising discovery; family-friendly songwriter Rafe Le Rafe is not an Australian. “Yeah, I grew up in the suburbs and just have a passion for singing kiddy songs,” said…

Justin Bieber Forgets Wife’s Name

LOS ANGELES—Staring blankly at the 27-year-old woman sitting across from him, musical artist Justin Bieber told reporters Thursday that he had forgotten his wife’s name. “I’d just keep saying ‘babe,’ but I think she’s starting to catch…

What To Know About ‘Mufasa: The Lion King’

Mufasa: The Lion King, the prequel to the 2019 photorealistic remake of The Lion King, arrives in theaters Dec. 20. Here’s what you need to know about the newest Disney film. Q: What can fans expect to learn about Mufasa’s backstory? A:…

Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour By The Numbers

After nearly two years, Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has at last concluded, grossing over $2 billion in ticket sales. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures behind the record-breaking tour. 1.2 million: Parents who only learned at the…

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